Straight on ’til Morning

if everyone’s after me
i better start running now –
get warmed up
and stretched out
and compose this on the fly –

like locking your car twice
just checking and double checking
and confirming
that you remembered to turn the
oven off, right?

Are you sure?

doubt is infectious.

What is the difference between hope
that extinguishes and drowns doubt
and hope that serves as nothing more
than fuel for this fire?

is hope water or fire – is this optimism or’s this sunrise a liar,
am i exercising faith or am i ground down and tired –

play your lyre Orpheus, or are these sunrises lip-synched too –

is there a thought process
a meta-hodus
a paradeigma
that can educate and inform
this frustration until
it is ground into dust and
recycled into experience –

do you know how long it has been
since my countdowns have started
at hours rather than days or weeks

like Las Vegas’s wet dream,
going all-in every time
because of reasons like
i just feel good about this one, or
this one’s a sure thing, or
i had a dream this all worked out

Can you imagine
the silent scream of a conscience,
suffocated for so long,
but kept alive by its own grace?

“look yourself in the eye, tell me that you have a plan,” it squeaks.

You’re looking at it, man – this is all I’ve got.

“but why isn’t it like you imagined?”

Because it’s real. Now shut up – I’m busy, and happy.

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~ by cptgibbs on August 4, 2011.

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